


Absolutely Not

by uhnonnymouse



Series: Ultimate (Entirely Self-Indulgent) Human AU [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Logic | Logan Sanders-centric, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, angst lovers do not interact, he likes to pretend otherwise but he's a big softie, i know christmas is over but heres the facts: i dont care, queerplatonic logicality - Freeform, thats a tag i didnt know existed, thats quite literally half of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:21:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22066201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uhnonnymouse/pseuds/uhnonnymouse
Summary: Logan just wants to have a nice Christmas with his husband and their close childhood friend, but of course things are never that simple.a.k.a. all six boys come together for an impromptu holiday party, despite Logan's protests
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Everyone, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Ultimate (Entirely Self-Indulgent) Human AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1613161
Comments: 4
Kudos: 67





	Absolutely Not

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing some pretty dark stuff lately and needed a fluffy break with my favorite boy

Logan wakes up suddenly. Years of being up at 6:00 a.m. on the dot nearly every day has conditioned the acetylcholine in his brain to set off nearly immediately once the sun is up.

And the sun is up, slivers of it shine through the curtains, kissing Patton’s auburn hair. How unusual for a winter morning, Logan thinks as he runs a hand up Patton’s back to tangle his fingers in the thin hairs at the nap of his neck.

Logan closes his eyes, burying his nose further into Patton’s chest. He relishes lying here with Patton, in the softness of the sweaters they wear and the smell of clean sheets, even if his long legs are cramped from being curled up so close as not to dangle off the bed.

He and Patton are both teachers, Patton working at a local pre-school and himself a science teacher at a highschool across town. It’s jobs they both have to be up early for, some days more than others, but still it’s so rare they ever have the time for, as Patton affectionately puts it, “sleepy mornings.”

Fortunately it’s Christmas break, and both of them have nowhere they need to be.

It’s impractical, but Logan begins to doze off again, readjusting himself to press ever closer to his husband.

He doesn’t come to again until some time later, when he registers the feeling of nails scratching lightly on his scalp.

With a huff and a groan Logan squeezes his arms around Patton’s waste. Patton gasps and giggles, pushing Logan’s hair back to kiss the crown of his head with a soft “morning.”

“Were you watching me sleep?” Logan mumbles against Patton’s chest, refusing to open his eyes.

“Maybe,” Patton says coyly, dragging out the word. He erupts into another fit of giggles when Logan squeezes his middle with a vengeance. “You’re such a love bug, Lo.”

“Suppose that makes you my honeymoon.” It makes barely any sense, even with the proper context (which he doubt Patton even has in the first place - how many people knew “love bug” was an actual species?), but Logan is much too sleepy to care. He suspects Patton feels the same, because he just hums sweetly and buries his nose in Logan’s hair.

They just lay there then together, and Patton’s so warm, and Logan will never get used to the overwhelming feeling in his chest, the one that makes him want to curl around Patton and hold him close forever.

Logan sighs. “I am so in love with you.”

“Hmm?” Patton tugs lightly at the strip of hair he had curled around his finger.

“I said--” and Logan hooks an arm up and around Patton’s neck, wriggling up to face him at eye level. Logan thanks genetic luck that he is nearsighted and not far as he studies Patton’s eyes, warm brown speckled with gold. They’re big, even without Patton’s glasses on, and  _ how did Logan get so lucky?? _ “I love you.”

Logan’s voice sounds so earnest, he catches himself off-guard, just as it did the first time he whispered those same words to Patton.

Patton’s eyelashes flutter and a smile reaches his eyes. A sweet little whimper of joy catches in the back of his throat as he practically lunges at Logan, burying his face into Logan’s jaw and rolling them off their sides. Half on Logan and half on the bed, Patton hugs Logan tightly and Logan hugs just as tightly back, enjoying the warm words Patton presses to his neck.

“I love you, too.”

They hold each other for a time, enjoying the warmth. All the world past Patton is blurry and unfocused, but Logan finds he doesn’t mind in the slightest. All he needs in that moment is right in his arms.

A kiss is pressed by Logan’s ear. “It’s time.”

“Absolutely not.” Logan mumbles, curling his arm tighter around Patton’s shoulders.

“Virgil’s flight arrives this afternoon,” Patton shifts up onto his elbows, hair falling in his face as his nose brushes against Logan’s. “I want to have the house ready.”

Logan’s face screws up. “The bathrooms haven’t been cleaned…”

“And we need to go shopping.”

With a sigh and a grunt, Logan deduces the most practical and logical way to proceed with the interaction.

He flips the both of them, putting all the weight on top of Patton, who laughs and shrieks as he tries to heft him off.

“Logan!!”

*

Patton, despite non-verbal protest from Logan (that he would later deny ever took place), had managed to drag both of them out of bed. He’d also managed to pressure Logan into making blueberry pancakes.

Contrary to first impressions, Patton does not know how to cook, or bake, or even how to work the stove that well. It’s Logan who spends the most time in the kitchen - not that he’s exceptionally good at it either. He just follows instructions - ¾ cups milk, 1 cup of floor, 2  tablespoons sugar, etc. - but still, he enjoys it. It’s straightforward. Simple chemistry.

_ “Science you can eat?” _ Patton commented ounce. _ “You could call it a chemis-treat!”  _ Logan smiles was he pours batter into the pan.

“Do we have ricotta?” Patton’s leaning over the counter, going over the grocery list with one of the many stray glitter pens sitting around the house. Patton has assured him they were bought only for his classroom, but Logan continues to find them tucked away in drawers.

“We got some at the farmers market this weekend, dear.”

Patton hums, crossing something off the list. “What about--”

He’s interrupted by his phone, the blaring ringtone of “I’m not okay, I’m not okay, you wear me out” immediately giving away the caller.

Patton picks up immediately. “Virgil! How’s it going, kiddo?”

Virgil says something on the other line, but Logan can’t make anything out. He flips a pancake.

“Yes, he is.” Patton gives Logan a pleased side eye. “Do you want too--” Patton stops abruptly, listening. “Oh.”

Interest peeked, Logan brings the pancake off the pan and onto a waiting plate, turning to watch Patton.

“Really? That’s wonderful!” Patton looks shocked, overjoyed, then confused. “But what does that have to do with--”

After that, Patton is quiet for a while, just nodding along as Virgil talks and talks on the other end. He keeps on looking at Logan funny, but Logan can’t place it. Is he nervous?

Logan raises an eyebrow at Patton. He looks away.

“That’s alright, kiddo. I won’t. I really don’t think you’ll have to worry about it, though.”

Virgil must say something to reassure Patton, because he bounces back with just as much energy as he had at the beginning of the call. “Alright, alright. Yes. Love you! Miss you! Can’t wait to see you! Have a safe flight! Bye!” and Virgil must have hung up, because he sets down the phone.

“So?” Logan asks, walking forward to lean on the counter next to Patton.

“Nothing you need to worry about, sweetie.” Patton’s always been terrible at lying to Logan, and he must realise this, because he cradles Logan’s jaw in his palm and stand up on his toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Trust me.”

Logan knows that if Patton is keeping something from him it’s for a good reason, and never for long, so he decides not to push it. He does, however, lean over Patton’s shoulder to watch as he excessively adds items to the grocery list.

*

They’re in the airport, at the gate, Logan patiently scrolling through his phone and Patton on the edge of his seat beside him, when Logan hears a squeal. He looks up to find Patton crushing an exhausted looking Virgil in a hug.

Logan stands up, and knowing that Patton probably won’t peel off Virgil anytime soon, resigns himself to hugging both of them.

It’s over the tops of their heads he catches the eye of an unexpected guest.

Roman Grimm struts towards them, carrying what seems to be both his and Virgil’s bags.

_ Oh, _ Logan thought. Then:  _ fuck. _

“Hey, don’t leave me outta the love!” Roman says, announcing himself to the room. Patton gasps, letting go of Virgil and squirming out from under Logan to go jump into Roman’s arms.

“Roman!”

“Padre!”

As Roman and Patton hug fiercely, Logan gives Virgil A Look™.

“It was last minute.” Virgil shrugs, avoiding Logan’s eyes but smiling all the same.

Logan isn’t exactly on bad terms with Roman or anything. Besides semi-frequent Skype calls, Logan hasn’t seen Roman since his and Patton’s wedding. It was simply jarring to have him over so unexpectedly, especially after he rejected their invite a month ago when they were planning Virgil’s flight. Told them he was busy doing  _ whatever  _ he was doing in L.A.

Roman, having freed himself from Patton, walks over to hand Virgil his luggage. Logan narrows his eyes at him, and Roman narrows them back, crossing his arms. He looks healthy, a small, buried part of himself usually only reserved for Patton, notes.

“Oh, come here, big guy.” Roman breaks, pulling Logan into a warm hug.

Logan will deny it later, but he hugs back with just as much warmth, if not more.

*

“Yeah, I moved to NYC a week or two ago.” Roman boasts on the drive back to the house. “We’ve been rooming together,” he jesters between himself and Virgil in the backseat.

“He’s been  _ crashing, _ ” Virgil corrects coldly. “He has yet to get a job.”

“You’re not working?” Logan asks, a lecture on the tip of his tongue. Patton removes a hand off the steering wheel to set it on Logan’s knee.  _ Not now. _

“I have the money to pay rent, but Virgil won’t let me!”

“I’m not taking  _ shit _ from you until you stop moping around on my couch eating vegan donuts and watching reruns of  _ Glee _ .”

“What brought you to New York?” Patton asks quickly, fearing an all out catfight in the back of his honda civic.

Roman quickly switched gears, posing dramatically for them. “What is there to say? I heard a calling, all the way across the country, one that told me New York City was the next step in my path to success. It was hardly a choice I had to make.”

“So now you’re following the demands of some vague ubiquitous voice?” Logan sneers dryly.

“Can it, Tin Man.”

They bicker back and forth some more, the four of them. Logan is pleasantly surprised at how easy it is to sink back having Roman and Virgil in his life. He finds himself thinking he wouldn’t mind it being the norm again.

“Sorry about not telling you, Logan.” Virgil is saying, the conversation somehow circling back to Roman’s sudden visit again. “I don’t know what I was thinking would happen. I feel kinda… uh, silly now.”

“Aw, that’s alright, kiddo.” Patton is quick to respond.

“Yes, it turned out quite fine. All I ask is you reframe from repeating something similar in the future.”

“Don’t want to give our poor madre a heart attack, Virgil.” Roman joked.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine.” Logan frowns, “given there are no more surprises, of course.”

“No more surprises,” Virgil promises.

*

“We only have one guest room.” Logan states as Patton throws the car keys onto the counter on their way inside.

“I’m sure me and Virgil could survive sharing a bed.” Roman scoffs, abandoning his luggage at the door to admire the house.

“Ooooooor,” Patton coos, “Virgil could sleep with us.”

Logan frowns. “Our bed isn’t nearly big enough for three people, Patton.”

“I don’t care, I just want to sleep,  _ period. _ ” Virgil is saying as he sets his bags by Roman’s. He really does look exhausted, more so then he usually does. Logan forgot how rough flying is for him.

Roman swings an arm over Virgil’s shoulders, pulling him close to his side to lead him down and hall. “You go ahead and settle down in the guest room, my troublous dream. I’ll worry about the luggage.”

“It’s the door on the right!” Patton calls after them. Logan watches them go, disappearing behind the closed guest door. 

“Are they…” Logan trails off, unsure how to finish that sentence.

“They seem happy.” Patton shrugs off his coat. “That’s all that matters.”

*

Logan wakes up to voices coming from the front of the house.

Patton is curled up on his side, and he regrettably shifts him off as he sits up to grab his glasses from the nightstand. The clock reads 3:34 a.m.

Logan sighs, shuffling out into the livingroom. “What’s going on out here--”

Logan’s greeted by Roman being  _ bodyslammed  _ into the couch. The man responsible is suddenly in front of Logan, hanging off him in a death grip.

“Lolo!!” Remus Grimm screams into Logan’s ear.

Logan pushes Remus off hastily. He looks like reindeers figuratively vomited on him, dressed in a sweater and shorts combination covered in glitter that shed off him with every move.

“Ah, it’s been so long since I’ve been held by your big,  _ big  _ hands Lolo.” Remus shivers in the arms-length grip Logan has on his shoulders. He lets go immediately.

“Who let him into my house?” Roman’s still laying immobile on the couch, so Logan directs his seething glare to Virgil, who stands off to the side with his face buried in his hands.

“I’m not the only one!” Remus sing-songs, skipping over to the front door to open it.

“Dee?”

Dee, dressed much more formally than his counterpart in a tasteful Christmas sweater, gives Logan a delightful little smile. “Hello, Logan. It’s so lovely to see you again.”

Logan’s fist curls. He has the sudden urge to  _ punch someone’s daylights out. _ He’s tired, just woken up, and of all the unexpected visitors to his house, it had to be  _ these two?? _

“Love bug?” Patton yawns from the bedroom doorway. “What’s going going on out here-- oh.”

*

“You cannot blame this on me.”

It’s Christmas Eve, and dinner came and went without hassle. It was turning out to be a pleasant evening, right up until Patton suggested they bust out the bourbon. Now Patton and Dee were cheering on Virgil and Remus as they chugged a whole gallon of eggnog  _ each. _ Logan feared for the safety of the freshly cleaned living room carpet.

Roman was dangling off Logan from where they watched at the kitchen counter, ranting directly into his ear. He reeked of one to many glasses of wine.

“How was I suppose to know Baneful and the Beast were going to come crawling out of the sewer they’ve been living in?? I haven’t spoken to my brother in, in  _ months! _ The only time he  _ texts _ me is to send me pictures of him and Dee snogging in front of grotesque street graffiti! Or, or images of roadkill, but it’s like taken from several yards away, so I can’t tell what fucking animal it is?? And somehow that’s worse than actually  _ knowing??? _ ”

Logan watches as Virgil gives first, coughing and sputtering up eggnog onto the  _ carpet, his poor carpet. _ Remus quickly follows behind, belching loudly.

Logan downs the last of his glass, grabbing a new jug of eggnog and crosses into the living room.

“Let me show you how it’s done.”

Logan downs ¾th of the gallon before he nearly vomits. Everybody loses their  _ fucking minds. _   
  


*

Logan wakes up slowly. The sun blares angrily at him, and as he reaches up a hand to cover his eyes, his elbow bumps into something. Or, some _ one. _

Logan is not in his bed. He is on the couch, tucked in cozily between both snoring Grimm twins. One glance around the room reveals to him that it is Christmas morning, everybody is asleep, Dee is spooning Remus, and Patton and Virgil are nowhere to be seen. He can only hope they are even still in the house.

It doesn’t take him long to remember last night. At some point they’d all decided to settle down with some classic Christmas movies. Logan must’ve been the first one to fall asleep.

It’s entirely impractical, but Logan can’t help but doze off again. Roman and Remus, for all their shortcomings, are exceptional cuddlers.

He’s roused again by the opening of the front door, and looks up to see Patton carrying some grocery bags.

“Hey, Lobear.” Patton coos, setting the bags on the counter and leans over the back of the couch to gaze at Logan. He puts on that soft voice of his. “I thought I’d make some breakfast, then we can wake everybody up and get this Christmas started.”

Logan groaned. “It isn’t over?”

“We have presents to open, dear.”

Logan groaned louder.

Patton giggles, retreating to the counter. “You planning on getting up anytime soon?”

Logan sank into the grips Roman and Remus have around him, holding back a smile.

“Absolutely not.”

**Author's Note:**

> Queerplatonic Logicality is so important to me alright don't even @ me
> 
> and yes i KNOW Christmas is over but it's 1:30 a.m. on the first day of 2020 and this is how i cope


End file.
